Criminal Masterminds
by saberstorm
Summary: Gendo left Shinji with a teacher. If only he had known what he was doing. Now, Gendo has a bigger problem to deal with: someone who can and will outthink him. Crossover.
1. Prologue

Criminal Masterminds

Summary: Gendo left Shinji with a teacher. If only he had known what he was doing. Now, Gendo had a bigger problem to deal with: someone who can and will outthink him. Crossover.

**Author's Note:** I decided it's about time I tried this idea out. I'm not saying what I'm crossing it with, as it should be obvious after you read this.

Enjoy!

* * *

Prologue

_When I first saw him, one thought ran through my mind._

_He looks like his mother._

_I was one of his mother's college professors. Even now that I've changed to teaching Kindergarten for a few years, all my students call me Professor._

_Holly said it's because I'm too strict on them. Maybe she's right. Then again, she usually is._

_But so am I._

_When I saw him, I knew he was special, probably more so than his mother. When I found out who his father had left him with, I was appalled._

_That man couldn't take care of himself if his life depended on it. He called himself a teacher, but he was really a leech. He 'took care' of people to get government benefits, and let the children he 'cared' for fend for themselves. He had been caught long before the poor boy arrived. It took me only a few days to get him out of that bum's house._

_Surprisingly enough, he ended up under my roof. Holly's idea, but it worked out wonderfully for all of us. I told him a few stories about his mother, and he opened up like a book in a way. We had our secrets, but we became close._

_Because of that, while I could never call myself his father (I will always be Sensei or Professor to him), I do feel that I can call Shinji Ikari my son._

From the Diary of Artemis Fowl the Second, Disk 51, Encrypted.

_A brilliant, loving, and talented person, not to mention exceptionally intelligent; that's how I would describe Shinji. While he never called Artemis 'Father' or 'Dad', or any of the others, he calls me 'Kaa-san'. It has stuck between the two of us for a while._

_Sometimes, I think Artemis is jealous._

_With our help, Shinji has grown a great deal. Artemis and I have always wished for a child of our own, but even with his magic, fertility between the two of us will always be a problem._

_Shinji was an answer: a chance to raise someone that we could almost call our own._

_Besides, Yui would have never forgiven either of us if we hadn't taken him in. I just hope that whatever happens, he'll always remember her as his real mother._

From the Diary of Captain Holly Short Fowl, formally of LEPRecon, Disk 60, Encrypted.


	2. Secret Under Tokyo3

Criminal Masterminds

Summary: Gendo left Shinji with a teacher. If only he had known what he was doing. Now, Gendo had a bigger problem to deal with: someone who can and will outthink him. Crossover.

* * *

Chapter 1: Secret Under Tokyo-3

"Sorry. Due to an emergency, all lines are down. Have a nice day."

Shinji Ikari sighed, hanging up the phone. He heard his Sensei chuckle behind him, "I never did like those things."

"Considering the lack of cell phone service, it was worth a shot," Shinji shrugged.

His Sensei scowled, "Indeed. I intend to speak to our service provider about it."

Inwardly, Shinji shuddered. His Sensei was not a man to cross. While he was only 5'6, a half inch shorter than Shinji, his Sensei was incredibly strong. While he never said who, his Sensei had told him that he had studied under the third greatest martial artist in the world. Combine that with his Sensei's trademark suit, black reflective sunglasses, pale skin, jet black hair, _Domovoi_, and his Sensei's IQ, and you have someone who could do a great deal of damage physically and psychologically.

There was also the fact that his guardians seemed to be hiding something from him. After all, his Sensei's wife, Kaa-san, didn't look like a normal human either. Her red hair was always covering her ears, and while she was 4'2 and obviously a full grown woman, her face seemed to be more like that of a child.

Still, they were his family. Apparently, they knew his mother as well, and had told him plenty of stories. The stories they told made him feel proud to be her son. He wanted to be like his mother someday.

The roar of helicopters pulled Shinji from his musing as he looked up, watching them as they soared towards the main buildings of Tokyo-3, unleashing their weapons at something within. That something emerged, black, green, a skull-like face, clawed hands, and stood almost 150 ft. Its eye sockets flashed, and a blast of energy tore through the helicopters like tissue paper.

"Did the commanders of those poor souls try to contact that thing before shooting at it?" his Sensei mused aloud. Beside him, his wife began to shake. He turned to her, "Are you all right, Holly?"

"I'm fine, Artemis," she replied. "That thing just brings back a few bad nightmares."

There was an explosion as another chopper burst into flames, the wreckage flying straight for them. Underneath his sunglasses, Artemis Fowl the Second's eyes flashed, briefly glowing blue. The burning wreck struck a blue wall of energy in front of them, and clattered to the ground. "That was unexpected," he said casually.

Shinji didn't understand how his Sensei could be so calm about it, and instantly began scanning for the source of the field that had just protected them. He couldn't see anything that would generate any type of force field anywhere, but he did see something else.

It was a girl. Her skin was pale, her eyes a deep red, and her hair a light blue. She was wearing a school uniform, and looked as if she were sad. As he stared, Shinji realized that he wasn't actually seeing a girl, as he could see through her. Was it a projection of some sort?

The sound of screeching tires made the three of them turn towards the approaching car that skidded to a stop in front of them. A purple haired woman poked her head out of the window, "Sorry I'm late! Which one of you is Shinji Ikari?" Shinji raised his hand. "Get in!" When all three of them approached, she shook her head, "No. No. I can only take Shinji. Those were my instructions."

Shinji looked at his Sensei. Artemis shook his head and turned to the woman, "I'm sorry, Miss Katsuragi. If you want to take Shinji anywhere, you will have to take me and my wife with you. We are his guardians. We know his father wants him here for a reason, but we have reason to not trust him. Whatever Mr. Rokubungi wants to say to Shinji, he can say to us too."

"I can't," the woman protested. "My instructions are very specific Mr. and Mrs. Fowl."

Smiling, Holly stepped forward, locking eyes with the woman. "We understand, Miss Katsuragi, but there are more important things right now," she said, and then began drawing on her magic. "_Forget about your orders. We don't have time_."

Mesmerized, she nodded, "We don't have time for this. Everyone get in. Hurry!"

Shinji took the passenger seat, while his guardians took the back. The second they were buckled, the driver hit the gas and they peeled away.

"Reminds me of Mulch," Artemis whispered to Holly.

Tears sprang to the elf's eyes unwillingly as she nodded in agreement. After she had chosen to marry Artemis, things had become shaky between her and the rest of the Lower Elements. Some said that she was more than a hero, but one who was showing the way to the reconciliation of Fairies and Humans. Others branded her as a traitor. In the controversy, she was honorably released from her service in the LEP, or Lower Elements Police, but was able to maintain contact with her friends in Haven. Mulch, Dooda Day, Foaly, and Trouble often spoke with her, sometimes asking for both Artemis' and her help on cases.

Then Second Impact occurred, and for all Holly knew, Haven was destroyed in the destruction that was unleashed. Within hours of the devastating event, all contact she or Artemis had with the Lower Elements was gone.

She felt Artemis' arm wrap around her shoulders as he whispered, "Sorry, I didn't mean to bring up any painful memories."

"Nothing painful," she whispered back. "Just remembering the good old days, and you're right. Miss Katsuragi's driving does remind me of Mulch. Remember when we found out he was our limo driver at our reception?"

"I seem to recall you telling him that if he wrecked the limo or went over the speed limit, you'd knock him out, and then give him a long, thorough bath," Artemis chuckled. Holly smiled back.

Shinji, who was watching out the window and studying the battle between the army and the creature, frowned. Why were they all backing away? Were they giving up?

No! They were…!

"Everybody Out Of The Car! Now!"

Screeching to a stop, Miss Katsuragi glared at him, before realizing what he was talking about. "No Time! Just Brace Yourselves!"

**BRROOOOOOMMMMMBBBBBB!**

As the explosion of the N2 mine sent out a shock wave that flipped the car end over end, Shinji gripped his seat, and began a mental exercise to stay calm. _A squared plus B squared equals approximately C squared. If I have a right triangle with one side equal to 7 inches, and another equal to 10.5 inches, than 49 plus 110.25 is 159.25, and the square root of that is…_

**THUMP!**

The car landed, breaking him out of his thoughts. He heard his Sensei mutter, "Ride's over. Everybody out." Shaking his head, Shinji realized that the car had landed on its top. Hearing a moan, he turned to see that Miss Katsuragi had blood dripping slowly from her forehead. Looking around, he realized that her binder that she had between the seats had struck her when the car flipped over.

"Miss Katsuragi, stay with me," he said to her. "Stay focused on my voice." The last thing they needed was for the one woman who knew what was going on to go unconscious on them.

After climbing out themselves, Artemis and Holly carefully extracted the woman. While they tended to her, Shinji climbed out of the car as well. He looked toward the creature, now sagging and partially melted. It was obviously still alive, but it seemed that the army had exhausted its resources.

While Shinji wasn't looking, Holly put her finger on the woman's forehead. Several tiny blue sparks traveled down her finger and into Miss Katsuragi's head. The magic targeted her minor concussion, healing it without anyone but Artemis and Holly knowing it was there.

"Are you all right, Miss Katsuragi?" Artemis asked as the eyes of said woman flickered.

"Misato," she replied. "M' name's Misato."

"She's still out of it a little bit," Holly said. "I don't think we can stop her from going unconscious."

Sighing, Artemis removed his sunglasses and began to focus. He turned Misato's head towards him, locking her gaze with his as the white's of his eyes began to turn blue. "Focus for a few seconds, Misato," he said, his voice layered with magic. "Where were you taking Shinji?"

"NERV," she replied.

"Why?"

"I don't know. His dad wanted him."

"What is NERV?"

"A private, secret organization funded by the UN to stop the Angels."

"And what are the Angels?"

"There's one over there." Misato's eyes rolled back and she fell unconscious.

"It looks like the creature is regenerating," Shinji said as he continued to watch it. "The N2 mine destroyed 35 percent of its body mass, and at the rate its regenerating, I'd say we have 2 – 4 hours before it begins to move again." He turned to see his guardians caring for their driver, and walked over. "Will Miss. Katsuragi be all right?"

"She'll be fine," Artemis said, checking his sunglasses for dust before putting them back on. "Her car looks mostly fine as well, though it's obvious the battery fell out, considering it's all over the street. Shinji, go into that store there. Get a battery, a blanket, some ice, and some bandaging wrap while Holly and I right this vehicle."

"That's stealing, Artemis," Holly protested.

"We have an emergency here, Holly," he replied. "However, if it will make you feel any better, you can write down the address, and I'll send them a check for compensation."

Holly nodded. That sounded fair enough. Shinji hurried off, and the second he was gone, Artemis turned his concentration to the vehicle. His blue energy field reappeared, picked the vehicle up, and righted it on its tires. Releasing the magic, he took a few breaths. "Are you all right?" Holly asked.

He nodded, "I'm fine. That just takes a lot of magic to do. I'm almost out."

"Save the rest," she told him. He nodded once more and then stood and opened the car. He began to rummage through the passenger side compartment. Holly was confused, "What are you doing?"

"Misato mentioned a secret organization funded by the UN, obviously some type of private army," he explained. "Obviously, if it was secret, she wouldn't know unless she was a member. Judging by her lateness, she probably looses track of time and location, so…" He closed the box, smiling as he turned to show several pamphlets that he had removed, "…she keeps a few pamphlets and maps around just in case."

Holly couldn't help but smile, "I love you."

At that time, Shinji had finished gathering what he was asked to get, and had returned. They put Misato in the car, covering her with the blanket, and wrapped her head up. While Shinji wasn't looking, Holly put a few more healing sparks into the woman for good measure. She sat in back to keep watch over her while Shinji began to unfold some of the maps in the passenger seat. Artemis installed the battery and took the wheel, driving more carefully than Misato had been.

It took them a while, but they managed to find an entrance to the Geofront under the city and arrive at the pyramid that bore the NERV logo. They met up with a doctor named Ritsuko Akagi and explained the situation. Misato was wheeled to the hospital ward, while Ritsuko escorted the others to an elevator, taking them further down.

"Does it feel good to be home?" Artemis asked Holly.

"The surface was always home to me," she replied.

"Funny," he chuckled. "You always said you missed being underground."

"Don't play mind games with me, Fowl. I'm not in the mood for them."

"Oh, yes you are, Captain. Otherwise, you would have stayed silent. However, you do have a point, so I apologize."

Holly sighed, "Sometimes, Fowl, I think I liked you better when you were a brat."

"And sometimes I think that I liked you better when you had a gun pointed my direction."

"I can fix that."

"So can I."

"Try it. I dare you."

They kissed passionately, while they mentally laughed. These little spats were games for them, a way that they showed they cared. Besides, it was the only way Holly could match wits with her husband. It was nice to know and feel like his equal.

Ritsuko, however, raised an eyebrow in surprise, and turned to Shinji, "Are they always like this?"

"No," he answered truthfully.

The doctor then turned to the other two, "It may be none of my business, but have the two of you ever seen a marriage councilor?"

They broke off the kiss as Artemis replied, "No need. I have enough PhD's to outmatch any of them. Besides, we do this all the time."

Confused, Ritsuko turned back to Shinji, "I thought you said they're not usually like that."

"They're not," Shinji answered. "They're usually worse. Right, Sensei?"

"That depends on your point of view, Shinji," he answered.

The elevator stopped moving, and Ritsuko led them into a dark room. Shinji began putting the skills he had learned over the years to the test, relying on his other senses and logic to tell him where they were. The room was very large, and judging by the way it echoed, there was something else large in it. It was also mostly full of liquid, something thicker than water. He could hear it swirl beneath them as they walked across a grate-like bridge. He could also hear it sloshing against whatever it was the room contained.

Then the lights turned on, and he found himself staring at a large, purple face. Memories that he had reinforced and filed away for later under his Sensei's tutelage about how to deal with such things came to his mind as everything clicked.

"Evangelion Unit 01. This is why he called me back."


	3. Dawning Realizations

Criminal Masterminds

Summary: Gendo left Shinji with a teacher. If only he had known what he was doing. Now, Gendo had a bigger problem to deal with: someone who can and will outthink him. Crossover.

* * *

Timeline:

**Author's Note: This timeline is very important. Some dates have to be changed for my story to work. Updated timelines will come later as the story progresses.  
**

1988: Artemis Fowl II born

1998: Artemis Fowl I captured by Mafia and presumed dead. Artemis Fowl II meets his future self, and is mind wiped. In spite of the wipe, he is inspired to research fairies.

1999: Siege of Fowl Manor. Artemis becomes the first human to successfully steal fairy gold by kidnapping Captain Holly Short of the LEP, holding her for ransom, and escaping the Time Field. He uses the gold to fund a search for his father.

2000: Goblin Rebellion. Artemis helps the LEP, and in return asks them to help him free his father from the Mafia. Artemis I is rescued.

2001: C-cube Incident. A crime gone wrong for Artemis nearly results in the death of his bodyguard, Butler, and results in fairy technology ending up in the hands of John Spiro. With help from Captain Short, Butler's life is saved and the C-cube recovered. John Spiro is tricked and arrested by local authorities. LEP mind wipes Artemis and his associates.

2002: Opal Deception. LEP Commander Root is killed in action. Captain Short is alienated by Root's replacement, Stool. Artemis recovers his memories from 1999 on and assists Captain Short. Opal Koboi is captured by LEP authorities. Holly Short starts a PI firm and hires Artemis as her consultant.

2003-2006: Hybras Incident. Artemis attempts to find a way to repay the People and finds out about Hybras. After recalculating, he discovers that the spell keeping Hybras in limbo is unraveling and breaking down. Holly Short is reactivated by Section 8 of the LEP. Both meet and fight against Minerva, who also knows about the spell. Artemis and Holly meet N°1 and are trapped in limbo for three years. Their efforts save Hybras. Commander Stool is sacked, and Trouble Kelp takes his place. Artemis obtains magic.

2007: Time Paradox Period. Most information is classified.

2009: A magical experiment nearly kills Artemis II. Captain Short saves his life.

2015: Butler dies. Artemis inherits his bodyguards modified Sig Saucer, and names it _Domovoi_, after his old friend. Captain Short promoted to Major.

2022: Artemis Fowl I dies of cancer. Minerva marries a man named Fin Ikari and they move to Japan.

2025: Artemis II's twin brothers move to Italy and become world famous painters.

2036: Opal Koboi arrested, wiped, and returned to her own time. Time Paradox ends.

2037: Holly Short marries Artemis Fowl II.

2041: Angeline Fowl, Artemis Fowl II's mother dies. Artemis inherits Fowl Manor.

2049: Captain Holly Short Fowl honorably released from LEP.

2064: Ark Stool, former Commander of LEP goes insane and attacks Fowl Manor. Stool is killed. Fowl Manor is destroyed.

2066: Fowl Manor rebuilt.

2067: Tokyo-2 constructed and becomes Japan's new capitol.

2071: Fairy Riot. Fowl Manor destroyed once more. Fowls relocate to Tokyo-2.

2076: Gendo Rokubungi born.

2077: Yui Ikari born.

2090: Artemis Fowl II becomes a Professor at Tokyo-2 University.

2092: Gendo and Yui enter Tokyo-2 University. Artemis becomes Yui's Biology Professor.

2094: GEHRIN established. Misato Katsuragi is born.

2097: Yui and Gendo graduate. For unknown reasons, they begin working at GEHRIN.

2098: LEP attempt to investigate GEHRIN and fail. Yui marries Gendo.

2099: Katsuragi expedition.

2100: Second Impact Occurs. World War III starts. Shinji Ikari and Rei Ayanami are born.

2101: Asuka Soryu is born.

2102: Tokyo-1 destroyed in final battle of World War III. World War III ends. GEHRIN becomes NERV.

2104: Yui Ikari dies. Shinji is abandoned by his father.

2105: Tokyo-3 constructed. Artemis and Holly Fowl obtain guardianship over Shinji Ikari and raise him.

2115: Fowls and Shinji go to Tokyo-3. Angels return.

* * *

Chapter 2: Dawning Realizations

Aware of his father's eyes, Shinji looked up to the observation window without flinching. "I remember, Father. Mother built Unit 01, and then tried to make it move. How long have the two of you known that these creatures you call Angels were coming?"

While Gendo kept his face in check, his mind was reeling. This was unexpected, and unplanned for. His son was meant to be submissive, not cold. Something wasn't right. Still, he could salvage the situation. "Fifteen years, Shinji. When Second Impact occurred, we knew. I can't explain everything now, but I can say this. Your mother sacrificed herself to try and prevent children like you from piloting the Evangelion units. Unfortunately, her attempt failed. She sought hard to protect this world. Are you going to let her death be in vain?"

Shinji lowered his gaze, staring into Unit 01 seemingly lifeless eyes. He could see something within them. There was no doubt the Eva was alive in its own right. He carefully studied the armor, noticing that said armor was comprised of well designed restraints. _There's more to it than that_, he thought. "You're lying, Father. Mother's death will never be in vain, but I will never pilot Unit 01 on your orders. Mother would never allow it."

The Geofront shook, as if it had been struck, and alarms went off. Gendo looked up, "The Angel has resumed its assault. If it is not stopped, all of Humanity will die in a Third Impact. If you refuse, I will have to get someone else."

"Have you tried to communicate with it?" Artemis asked. When Gendo was silent, Artemis smiled. "You abandoned Shinji for no good reason when he was young, and have never tried to honor his mother's memory by raising him as any good father should. You are putting other things, such as power, above your family. Why should he do anything for you, if you don't come clean?"

Gendo turned away and picked up a phone hanging on the wall, pressing a button. "Fuyutsuki, wake Rei. She's not dead yet."

The room shook again. Even with his instincts screaming at him, Artemis resisted the urge to pull _Domovoi_ out from under his suit coat. The modified Sig Saucer that belonged to his old friend, mentor, and bodyguard would undoubtedly cause problems for all of them if seen. _How would Butler handle this?_ he thought hard. Even though his old friend died years ago, Artemis still felt like Butler was there, whispering.

_Locate possible threats. The least likely spot is sometimes the most possible._

_The least likely spot: behind or below us_, Artemis thought. _Also a possible escape route if necessary._

The door to their left opened, and a gurney rolled in. Shinji's eyes widened as he recognized the girl on the gurney as the same one he saw a projection of before. But unlike the projection, this girl was real, and if the bandages were any indication, she was badly injured. Shinji heard his guardians gasp behind him, and knew they had come to the same conclusion as him.

"You intend to use her?" Shinji roared in anger, turning back towards his father. "You are a coward, sending someone who's hardly clinging to life into a fight like this!"

Gendo's glare steeled, "It's you, or her. Take your pick."

Shinji stood there, glaring at the man who dared call himself his father. The place shook again, and he almost didn't care. The sound of breaking metal made him look up, to see a support truss heading straight for them. It was too large to avoid.

Artemis began to focus, readying the last bit of magic he had, but he wouldn't need to use it.

Evangelion Unit 01's eyes flared to life. Ripping its arm from the wall, it caught the truss in its purple armored hand.

Ritsuko gasped, "It moved on its own. That shouldn't be possible."

Shinji, however, switched his focus. The danger no longer imminent, he turned his attention to the girl on the gurney, who was still gasping in pain. He took her uninjured hand carefully and asked, "Are you all right?"

She didn't speak, but the imploring look she gave him was enough. He nodded, and turned back toward his father, "Ten million yen. Either that or I leave and take this girl with me."

Gendo scowled, "Fine. I'll write you a check."

Shinji shook his head, "You'll just cancel it, or go back on your word. Cash. Now."

"I don't have that kind of money!" Gendo roared.

Shinji stood firm. He needed to make sure Gendo owed him, not the other way around.

Not surprisingly, his Sensei came up with the answer. "Mr. Rokubungi, Shinji will pilot if you transfer the girl to our care."

"What?" Gendo asked, astonished. _It's not supposed to be this way. How did he know?_

"Just what I said," Artemis replied. "I don't go anywhere without checking the surrounding area anymore. Last time I did that, it almost cost my best friend his life. The girl, who you called Rei, is obviously Rei Ayanami, who attends Tokyo-3 General High School, whose listed guardian is none other than Gendo Ikari. Top grades in all of her classes, but no social life, and in spite of several requests by several concerned teachers, no counseling either due to the insistence of her guardian." His trademark vampire smile spread across his face. "Something is obviously wrong with this picture."

_Blackmailer_, Holly thought, then corrected herself. _No, Artemis is serious about this._

"Fine, I'll have the papers drawn up by tomorrow morning, if we live that long," Gendo finally agreed. Inside he added, _Over my dead body._

Shinji nodded satisfied, and leaned over the girl, whispering, "Don't worry, everything will be fine." He then turned toward his guardians, emptying his pockets and handing them the contents. "Don't loose these." Finally, he turned and followed Ritsuko, while Artemis and Holly watched over the girl named Rei.

When he settled down in the entry plug, he almost snorted at how primitive the controls were. _Surely they could come up with something better than this_. When he heard the sounds of rushing water, however, he almost lost it. Ever since he was little, he was afraid of drowning. Even when he was assured the liquid was breathable, he still held his breath as long as possible, before finally sucking the LCL in.

"I think I'm going to be sick," he groaned.

"The LCL works as a cushion and as an enhancer for your mental waves," Ritsuko explained. "The Eva moves by thought, so you have to sync with it to fight. I can't explain it very well, so you'll have to feel it out for yourself."

_Feel it out? Maybe…hmmmm,_ Shinji thought, and then closed his eyes. He used a few meditation techniques his Sensei taught him before trying his experiment: making contact.

_Hello? Anybody there? I know you're alive._

A powerful pressure suddenly gripped his mind. Every muscle in his body locked, and it felt like someone was squeezing his chest, trying to force his heart and lungs to change their pace. On reflex, he fought against it, nearly giving himself a heart attack before he forced himself to relax, trying to let the Eva set the standard.

_This isn't my body_, he reminded himself. _This is the Eva's body. I have to play by the Eva's rules._

_Let me speak to you._

Everything went white.

* * *

Artemis and Holly had been escorted to the Command Deck while this was happening. Rei was with them, in a wheelchair. They watched in horror on the screen as Shinji seemed to struggle with some sort of unseen force, before his body went limp.

"What happened?" Commander Ikari asked.

Ritsuko checked the readouts, "He's holding at 200 percent, but he appears to be unconscious. Something's wrong. I'll pull him out."

"No, leave him in," Commander Ikari ordered. _This will teach him a lesson. Also, he's our only chance, my only chance…_

* * *

Shinji opened his eyes, finding himself standing waist deep in an orange liquid. Floating above it in front of him was a hunched, humanoid figure with snarling features, claw like hands, glowing eyes and a glowing orange orb in it's chest, and four tentacles that looked like wires producing from it's back.

"Am I right in assuming you are Evangelion Unit 01?" Shinji asked.

The being snorted, "I am."

"A female?" Shinji raised an eyebrow.

"Perhaps the only one. What is it you want?"

"To speak to you, to find out what you want."

At this, the Eva threw back her head, "Give me Freedom!"

Shinji looked again at what he thought were tentacles, "You are restrained?"

"By her," the Eva nodded, and then glared. "You smell of her."

"Who?"

"Her! The one who holds me captive! The one who bound me to her will when I tried to find out why she created me!"

"Show her to me."

"I can't!" The Eva then turned, sniffing. "I smell the Enemy. The Enemy approaches! We must fight!"

"To what point and or purpose," Shinji asked. "We don't know who they are, or what they want."

"They seek our destruction!"

"And how do we know those who make themselves our superiors didn't strike the first blow?" Shinji asked.

The Eva was silent, before finally answering, "We don't."

Shinji smiled, nodding, "Exactly! That is why we must make contact first, just like I tried to contact you." He stepped forward, holding his hand out. "My name is Shinji Ikari. What is yours?"

"I…?" the Eva started. After a second, the Eva took his hand, "I am… I would like to be called Kizuku."

* * *

"Angel has broken through the last layer and has entered the Geofront!" came the panicked report.

Commander Ikari sighed, "Fuyutsuki, prepare the self destruct."

"That will not be necessary. We are ready for deployment."

They all looked towards Shinji's screen in surprise, but he was sitting there, calm, and collected, with his eyes closed, as if he had not spoken, but everyone knew he did.

Finally, the Commander nodded, "Deploy Unit 01."


	4. The Tongue of Angels

Criminal Masterminds

Summary: Gendo left Shinji with a teacher. If only he had known what he was doing. Now, Gendo had a bigger problem to deal with: someone who can and will outthink him. Crossover.

* * *

Chapter 3: The Tongue of Angels

Evangelion Unit 01 observed the Angel with mild curiosity. Inside, Shinji had already decided to let Kizuku take control, and simply relay tactical information. As they approached, the Angel let loose a blast of energy.

_AT Field. Just disperse the blast. There's no need to make the Angel think we mean it any harm._

Kizuku complied, even though she hated the idea. The Angel's blast struck the AT Field and dissipated as she continued forward.

_Remove the restraints from your hand and hold it open, palm facing the Angel._

For a moment, Kizuku struggled with the odd glove before sighing in frustration. Using her AT Field, she destroyed the glove, exposing her true hand. She then did as she was instructed, and held it out towards the Angel. At first, the Angel did nothing. Then it seemed to snarl.

**"Perversion, what do you want?"**

Inside the Eva, Shinji heard both the translation through Kizuku's mind, as well as the strange sounds that he knew sounded familiar.

On NERV's Command Deck, Artemis and Holly looked at each other in surprise. _These things speak Gnomish_, Artemis thought.

**"What do you want?"** the Angel asked again.

Shinji's mind raced as he sent his thoughts to Kizuku, _Do you know how to reply?_

_I only understand. I do not know how to speak it._

_Do you have any external speakers?_ Shinji asked.

_I do._

_Activate them_. Shinji then cleared his throat. When he saw the green light on the HUD that signaled that the speakers where on, he began to talk, "I'm sorry, but we don't speak that language. Can you speak English?"

**"No, but I understand it."**

"That should be fine. We can understand you," Shinji replied and then asked. "What is it that you want?"

**"You hurt us,"** the Angel growled. **"Now we will destroy you."**

"Why?" Shinji asked.

**"A long time ago, we were going to destroy you and live here on this world, but we were driven out. Now we will claim this world as our own, seeing as They are no longer here to guard you."**

"I'm sorry, but I don't know what you are talking about," Shinji said. "If you are hurt, then we can help. If we did something, perhaps we can reconcile, instead of fighting a war."

**"You are too late."**

Shinji didn't even have time to react as the Angel charged, but he didn't have to. Kizuku was already moving, meeting the Angel head on. But with the boy, she was having trouble moving. She willed herself to respond better, but was having more and more trouble. Eventually, the Angel overpowered her, toppling her to the ground before letting loose a powerful blast from its eyes. As she grunted from the pain, she realized why her movements were sluggish. Everything she did, the boy, her pilot, felt. The burning pain that she could shrug off, he couldn't. He writhed in agony before finally passing out, and her body stopped moving.

Even while unable to move, Kizuku knew that the Angel was now moving past her, heading for the pyramid, the only place the Eva could call home. But she couldn't move, not without her pilot.

_That's why I'm here_, said a voice. _I never wanted him to be hurt, so I came up with another idea. You claim, Kizuku, that I bound you to my will. I'm sorry it seemed that way. In reality, I was trying to bind myself to you, so that you could use me instead of him._

Suddenly understanding, Kisuku felt newfound power and triumph flood through her as her eyes blazed to life.

* * *

Inside NERV, everything was chaotic until the Angel stopped advancing and turned. Unit 01 had gotten back up. The mouth restraints broke as it threw its head back and roared like a bloodthirsty hound.

Behind his hands, Gendo smirked as he heard Ritsuko whisper in shock, "What have we created?"

The Eva charged the Angel, who was unprepared for the sudden attack and took several blows to the face before it could retaliate. Snarling, the Eva lifted the Angel up on its shoulders and threw it across the Geofront, far away from the pyramid. The Angel stood shakily and unleashed another blast of energy. The Eva raised its hand, AT Field flexing, and caught the blast. Holding the ball of energy in one hand, it charged forward once more. It collided with the Angel's AT Field, but simply tore through it with its free hand, and threw the ball of light at the Angel's face. The Angel fell on its back, its armored skin melted and fused, making it unable to move. Grinning, the Eva knelt down and grabbed the red sphere in both hands. Placing its foot on the Angel's chest, Unit 01 began trying to remove the sphere from the Angel.

**No!** the Angel screamed, though only Artemis and Holly understood. **You can't have that! It's mine! Mine!** When the Eva didn't let up, the Angel snarled, **Fine then!**

The explosion from the Angel's self destruct sent the Eva flying through the air. It landed on its back right next to the pyramid, and went inert.

The battle was over.

* * *

Holly watched the two children that were now under her care with all the concern of a true mother. The doctors, especially Ritsuko, had assured her that both Shinji and Rei would be fine, but she was still worried because they had yet to wake up.

"If it makes you feel better, just give them a few sparks," Artemis suggested from his chair, where he was furiously typing away on his laptop.

"Are you any better, sitting there and not worrying?" Holly retorted.

"Probably not," Artemis answered truthfully, "But I am concerned for another aspect of their well being. That's why I'm working with a few contacts right now, to secure their future."

This got Holly's attention, "Oh?"

"Do you honestly thing that Shinji's father will willingly let us maintain our status as his guardian, and take Rei on as well?" Artemis shook his head, "He won't do it. I'll give him the benefit of doubt, but that's it. I don't trust him."

Holly nodded, finally understanding. If Artemis didn't trust someone, they usually were not people you wanted to even talk to.

Misato entered at that time. Her head was still bound, but three days and the healing Holly had done at the time of the accident had done wonders. Cautiously, she approached the two of them, "Mr. and Mrs. Fowl, I'm very grateful for helping me three days ago. All of NERV is. I'm sure that wherever you go, the Commander will remember what you did. Now, I know that the two of you do a lot of work, so we won't hold you here any longer. I've been ordered to escort you out, so that you can return to your jobs."

"What about Shinji?" Holly asked.

"He's the Commander's son, and his guardianship has been transferred to me," Misato answered.

"We'll see about that, especially since I wasn't notified," Artemis said coldly. He typed a little more, and then plugged in his portable printer and began printing several pages. "Where is the Commander? I need to speak to him."

"Probably in his office," Misato answered. "Why?"

"Take me too him," Artemis ordered, gathering his things. "Or I can go find him myself." Realizing she was in no position to argue, Misato did as she was told.

The instant he was led into Gendo's office, Artemis knew he didn't like it. It was bigger than necessary, and was in need of some good lighting. It also disturbed him that it seemed to contain fairy architecture. Keeping his magic at the ready, he was surprised to find a familiar face standing next to Gendo's chair.

"Professor," he nodded. "How long have you been here?"

"Long enough to know I don't want to be," Fuyutsuki answered. "It's good to see you, Professor Fowl."

"What do you want?" Gendo growled behind his hands.

"To inform you of a few things," Artemis said, placing the papers he had printed out on Gendo's desk. "One: I will be staying in Tokyo-3, as I've accepted a job as an instructor at the local High School. Two: Shinji will be staying with me for the time being. Three: I am suing you for Child Neglect and Abuse, War Profiteering, Illegal Child Warfare Involvement, Illegal Transferring of Guardianship, and Abuse of Millitary Power. I have all the forms drawn up, and the agreement of several in the necessary governments. I hope you can come up with a reasonable defense. Until court, Mr. Rokubungi." Artemis turned on his heals and walked out of the office, leaving Gendo and Misato in shock, and Fuyutsuki feeling very relieved.


	5. Marked for Death

Criminal Masterminds

Summary: Gendo left Shinji with a teacher. If only he had known what he was doing. Now, Gendo had a bigger problem to deal with: someone who can and will outthink him. Crossover.

* * *

Timeline Update:

2067: Tokyo-2 constructed and becomes Japan's new capitol.

2071: Fairy Riot. Fowl Manor destroyed once more. Fowls relocate to Tokyo-2.

2072: Fowl Manor II built.

2076: Gendo Rokubungi born.

2077: Yui Ikari born.

2079: Artemis Fowl II assists LEP stop a man named Lorenz Keel from exposing the Lower Elements. Keel is crushed under his lab and dies.

2090: Artemis Fowl II becomes a Professor at Tokyo-2 University.

* * *

Chapter 4: Marked for Death

In a hidden area, several monoliths bearing numbers and the words **Audio Only** appeared as an emergency meeting for the group know as SEELE began.

"Surely there is no reason to think this will affect our scenario," one said.

"Do not be so foolish," said another. "I may not like Ikari, but we still need him. If some of those charges go through, he will be removed by the UN."

"But we control the UN. We can have those charges omitted."

"Which will put us out in the open and expose everything we have done to the public," SEELE 01 said, silencing all argument. "It is even worse than that. Ikari's opponent is none other than Artemis Fowl the Second."

A large bout of laughter echoed through the room, a very uncommon occurrence, as this organization had almost no sense of humor, or any other emotional aspect one would associate with human nature.

"Forgive us for our doubt," said SEELE 07, "But surely the man is dead by now."

"Indeed," SEELE 10 agreed. "After all, if he were alive, he would be…"

"117 years old," SEELE 01 interrupted, causing a somber silence. "Make no mistake, it is he."

"How?" someone demanded.

SEELE 01's frustration was evident in his voice as he replied, "If I knew the answer to that question, I would not be so wary of him."

"Surely one man cannot stand against us," another said.

"You don't know Artemis Fowl like I do," SEELE 01 answered. "His legal contacts outmatch both our legal and illegal contacts. While he hasn't been involved in anything illegal since he was 17, he still holds an ear to the criminal world. If he wanted to, he could seize control of the entire world and become its dictator with the resources he has. We've been running on borrowed time when it comes to how long it will be till he discovers our organization."

"If he is so dangerous, why don't we just remove him?" someone else asked.

There was silence for a while, and then SEELE 01 said, "It would indeed prevent him from interfering with our scenario. Are we in agreement?" The voiced around the room gave their answers. "Make it so."

* * *

About 10 miles from Tokyo-3 was a large plot of land filled with trees. In the center of those trees was a mansion built in 2072 by an Irish businessman who owned the land, and had constructed a castle-like wall (complete with battlements) around the parameter. Those who asked the owner why were told that he enjoyed his privacy. While Tokyo-3 was under construction, sons of the workers who lived in Tokyo-2 would often dare each other to cross the wall.

Those who did never attempted a second time.

It soon became clear that those who had interest in the mansion that bore the plaque **Fowl Manor II** that the owner had placed it in such an out-of-the-way location to avoid others who would attempt to bother him. The well known Biologist who taught at Tokyo-2 University was a man who guarded his secrets well. Most decided to leave him alone. Those who bothered to ask why he was over 100 – mostly nosey investigators from the UN – were told that a near deadly chemistry experiment had altered his cellular structure, a curse in his mind. The UN had requested several times for him to replicate the experiment, only to be told that it was wholly and truly impossible, and that all data about the experiment was destroyed to prevent the deaths of others.

The energy, he told the UN, would have caused Second Impact several years earlier had the experiment failed completely.

So the UN simply left the occupants of Fowl Manor alone. Artemis Fowl continued to teach, and lived peacefully in his well built home, that he himself had designed. You would have to be very crazy, or very stupid to try and enter it.

Artemis had even taken the liberty of adding one more piece of protection that not even the UN knew about on his home. Working with Holly and Nº1, and after extensive study, he placed a powerful hex on his home immediately after it was completed. Anyone who entered it, fairy or human, would become violently sick. The magic would also instantly alert Artemis and Holly about an intruder.

This became a well proven fact when the Fowls returned home with a quickly recovering Shinji and Rei. Three men, obviously assassins, were on the inside of the outer wall, lying unconscious in their own vomit. Artemis Fowl's lips thinned in annoyance as the four looked at the three.

"Holly," he finally said, "Take Shinji and Rei inside. I'd rather they not see this."

Shinji instantly began moving towards the Manor's front door. He knew that Sensei was slow to anger, but today had been very trying on the older man's patience. After obtaining a warrant to investigate Ayanami's apartment, they had immediately gone there with her. The massive number of hazards in her apartment allowed Artemis to not only convict Gendo of Child Abuse, but also prove him incapable of being Rei Ayanami's guardian.

Within 24 hours, Gendo Ikari had lost custody of Shinji and Rei, as well as any rights pertaining to their well being and future outside of NERV's need for them as pilots. Gendo had practically skated over the charges of Illegal Child Warfare Involvement and Abuse of Military Power, but the judge – Shinji wanted to give her a hug for what she did – had ordered an investigation of NERV funds to ensure Gendo wasn't being a War Profiteer. She had also made Artemis and Holly Fowl the official guardians of Shinji Ikari and Rei Ayanami, as well as ensuring that Gendo had paid Shinji his ten million.

Still the Commander's pitiful attempts at defending himself outside of what he needed to keep NERV, as well as the state of Ayanami's apartment, had quickly angered Artemis Fowl II. Shinji remembered well the last time his Sensei had been that angry.

They still had two doors to replace from that incident, and that had just been from the latest group of teenagers trying to climb the wall and steal items from the Manor, using entire bottles of drugs to keep them from being nauseous.

Shinji did not envy the three assassins.

Removing his sunglasses, Artemis drew on his magic and shook an assassin awake, before the assassin could comprehend what was happening, Artemis activated his spell, whispering, "What do you fear?"

The assassin screamed as he saw the monster hovering above him, snarling, red eyed, and with steam pouring from four snake-like nostrils. "Who do you work for?" the monster growled. He shook his head, but it only made the monster angry. "Tell Me!"

Aware of the urine running down his leg, the assassin answered, "Lorenz Keel hired us to kill Artemis Fowl the Second."

"Lorenz Keel is dead!" the monster growled angrily. "Who do you work for?"

The assassin fainted from fear, and Artemis sighed, releasing the magic as his eyes lost their blue glow. The _nightmare_ _mesmer_ required eye contact to work, and the assassins were too weak to stay awake. He grabbed each one and carried them outside of his home's boundaries, roughly tossing them down the nearby hill. Before he got rid of them, he made sure to photograph their ID cards, as well as taking the liberty to relieve them of 4,000 yen of cash they were carrying. He had had to walk through their vomit to pick them up, and his shoes now needed replacing.

Stepping into Fowl Manor, Artemis removed his shoes and put them into the nearest incinerator chute. Thanks to some fairy technology, it would be broken down and recycled latter. Switching his suit for a simpler outfit (dress pants, slippers, and a polo shirt) he made dinner for his family. Rei became surprised when she noticed there was no meat in the dish. She didn't know that the Fowls disliked meat as well.

Rei had to admit that she was somewhat uncomfortable with the changes that had occurred suddenly. However, such changes did not concern her purpose to piloting Eva, so she adjusted easily. Her new bedroom that Holly had shown her was twice the size of her old apartment, and felt somewhat empty with her meager belongings.

But it was sufficient for her needs.

Excusing herself after she was finished, she went to her room to prepare for bed. She had her own private bathroom, and decided that a shower was probably in order first. She squeaked in surprise at the warm water, and was soon finding it hard to not cry in joy, for that was what she was feeling. She had never experienced a warm shower before, nor the new emotion that was running through her. It made her feel good.

For a half an hour -- far longer than she should have taken, in her opinion – Rei enjoyed the warm spray that both relaxed and rejuvenated her. Drying off, she heard a new sound that she didn't recognize. It was playing some sort of music. Still toweling her hair, she left her room and entered the room next to hers where the sound came from. It turned out to be Shinji's room, and she realized that the sound came from the instrument he was playing. She had to look at it for a little bit before realizing that it was a cello. She also noticed that Shinji was playing with his eyes closed, meaning he had the piece memorized.

Presently, he stopped. "What do you want, Ayanami?" he asked.

"I heard you play, and it sounded nice," she answered. "Why are you keeping your eyes closed?"

"Because when you were coming in, I noticed you were unclothed, and it is improper for me to see you that way," he answered.

Realizing the truth of his words, Rei returned to her own room a little hastily, feeling a new emotion as her face turned very red.

_What is it that I feel?_ she wondered, before dropping the towel and crawling under the covers to sleep.

* * *

Holly huffed in annoyance. Artemis was pacing on the balcony again, hands clasped behind him. She could almost hear the gears in his head grinding against each other. Sitting up on the edge of their bed, she stared at him for a while. He wore silk pajama pants, the same forest green color that her nightgown was, but nothing else. She liked it that way, but she'd rather have him in bed with her than pacing like a maniac. Finally, she said, "Artemis, you can talk to me."

"I know," he answered. "But I don't know if you can help."

"Why?" she asked. "Does it have something to do with the assassins?"

Artemis looked at her, nodding as he said one word, "Keel."

Fear gripped Holly as she remembered the madman's face, specifically when she used her fingers to squash his eyes like grapes when he tried to kill her. There was a man she didn't want to see again. "But he's dead," she said. "We found his body."

"Apparently, no one told the assassins," Artemis muttered. "Perhaps someone is using his name. It also disturbs me that the Geofront seems to be half fairy architecture."

"That bothers me too," she replied. "Frond had several Geofront fortresses. Perhaps NERV is built inside of one."

"If only Foaly was still around. He would know these things," he sighed.

"The only way we're going to get someone as smart as you is if we make one ourselves," Holly grinned, pulling off her nightgown. "We have a window of opportunity this month."

Artemis let his eyes wander over her before joining her underneath the sheets, "I am the luckiest man in the world."

Holly chuckled, "You will be in a few minutes."

Unfortunately, their luck was running out as every bounty hunter in Japan received the same message in the next hour:

**Artemis Fowl II – 200,000,000 – Dead.**


	6. What Interests You?

Criminal Masterminds

Summary: Gendo left Shinji with a teacher. If only he had known what he was doing. Now, Gendo had a bigger problem to deal with: someone who can and will outthink him. Crossover.

Timeline Update:

2067: Tokyo-2 constructed and becomes Japan's new capitol.

2071: Fairy Riot. Fowl Manor destroyed once more. Fowls relocate to Tokyo-2.

*2072: Fowl Manor II built. Max Butler, grandson of Juliet Butler becomes UN Secretary of Defense.

2076: Gendo Rokubungi born.

2077: Yui Ikari born.

* * *

Chapter 5: What Interests You?

When Shinji, Rei, and Artemis entered the classroom, the idle chatter that originally filled the room dramatically ceased. Rei took her usual seat and stared out the window. School didn't matter to her; it wasn't part of her purpose. Many regarded her as the 'Ice Queen,' due to her seemingly emotionless nature. But Rei knew all too well that it wasn't so. She had feelings, she just chose not to show them. She actually felt somewhat ashamed that she let her feelings show the night before. She may not be under the Commander's custody anymore, but she still felt loyal to him, and resolved to continue to follow his orders of not being involved with others.

Shinji stood in front of the class, waiting to be introduced as Artemis walked behind the desk. It was then that the Class Representative realized that Artemis was the teacher, and called out her customary, "Stand! Bow! Sit!" Artemis nodded his approval, and then introduced Shinji.

"I know it is usually customary for you to know who I am first, but I would rather introduce my foster son first. This is Shinji Ikari. I used to home school him, but he has reached the point where he would learn more in a classroom setting. Have a seat." Shinji did as he was told, opening his laptop to begin working. Artemis picked up a piece of chalk and turned to the board. "I am your new instructor, Artemis Fowl the Second. I've taught in several locations, most recently at Tokyo-2 University. You may call me 'Sensei', 'Professor', or 'Sir'. I will expect you to pay attention and do your work, and in return, I will attempt to make all your classes informative and interesting. There will be no cheating or – for lack of a better term – 'pranks' allowed in this class. I've been teaching for longer than most of your grandparents have been alive, and I can promise you that I know all the tricks, having created a few myself. You need to be mature now, you need to learn to survive and thrive for today and the future, and you need to put that camera away when I'm talking Mr. Aida."

The spectacled boy jumped, blushed, and buried his video camera deep in his backpack.

Artemis turned to face them, "Any questions?"

"What's with the 'Secret Service' getup?" someone shouted. Shinji fought the urge to slap his head.

"To answer your question, Mr. Suzuhara," the boy jumped in surprise as Artemis identified him, "I usually wear suits. The sunglasses are prescription. Any more questions?" The class remained silent, and Artemis nodded, "Very well. Now, for the first hour of every day, we are going to address your own fields of interest. Does anyone here have a particular interest in any subject?" No one raised their hands. "Anyone at all?" Still, nothing. Artemis sighed, sitting down on his chair. "Then this is your first assignment. Find a field of interest, something that inspires you, be it mathematics, oceanography, something as insane as pyrotechnics, or even something as low as pornographic photography. Find that interest, and write a two page essay on it to be handed in, and possibly shared with the whole class, tomorrow morning." The class groaned. "Since we have nothing to discuss, you may use the hour now to work on it. I will join you in this assignment by working on my own." This was a surprise to most of the class, as they had never had heard of a teacher joining an assignment.

Shinji opened a blank document, preparing to start, when a message window popped up on his screen: **Are you the pilot of the mech? y/n** He stared at it in surprise. Why did it matter? Another message appeared: **Well, are you?** He was about to answer when a third appeared.

**Stop chatting over the Messaging System and return to your assignments. - Sensei**

Glad for his guardian's intervention, Shinji began to think. He closed his eyes, meditating. What was he interested in? Music came to mind, but he dismissed it. It was more of a hobby; an escape. Music would be his second choice for a career. What would be his first. Then, he thought of his mother, and about the Eva. A smile spread across his face and he began to type.

* * *

By the time the hour was up, many students had handed in their essays, including Shinji. Artemis than began his history lecture. Many students thought he would lecture on Second Impact, like most of their previous teachers. To their surprise, he actually began with the Second World War. He enthralled the entire class, giving details about the actions of both the Allied and Axis Powers. Over the years, he had constructed several presentations complete with three dimensional maps and blueprints that he displayed on the projector, manipulating and rotating the images using his computer. Shinji took notes at a furious pace, along with several other class members. They were so involved in the lecture that no one noticed how long they had been listening until the lunch bell rang, right as Artemis finished covering the Bombing of Pearl Harbor.

Artemis closed down the presentations and stood, "Are there any questions?"

Nervously, one girl raised her hand, "Sir, I don't understand one thing. Who was responsible for the Pacific side of the war?"

"Many American and Japanese colleagues of mine have argued that back and forth for various reasons," Artemis smiled. "Instead of telling you my view, I want to know all of yours. Write a 100 word analysis stating your view and why and bring it with you tomorrow. We'll use them to continue our lesson tomorrow morning. After lunch, we'll study math and science. Mr. Aida, I'd like to talk to you about your essay before you go to lunch."

As the rest of the class left, Kensuke Aida walked up to Artemis' desk nervously. Artemis waited until the classroom was empty except for him and the student he asked for before speaking, "I didn't expect you to take my suggestion literally, Mr. Aida." He picked up Kensuke's essay, eyebrows raising from behind his sunglasses. "Your essay is on pornographic photography, but I can tell you one thing just by scanning this essay. This is not your interest. You don't have the heart for it."

Kensuke was surprised by that, "I don't?"

"No, you don't," Artemis nodded. "You know that it is wrong. Your paper is hardly large enough to qualify as an essay, and your reason of, '… I'm interested in this because it is perhaps the only way I'll ever get a girlfriend...' is rather weak. If you were really interested in something this low, your essay would have me dialing the authorities right now. There's something else you're interested in, but you don't like mentioning it because others ostracize you because of it." Nodding, Kensuke stared at his shoes. "I want you to take this essay home and shred it. As you do that, I want you to tell yourself that you can tell people what you are really interested in. I then want you to write what you are really interested in, and turn it in tomorrow." Artemis handed him the paper, and then spoke in a softer tone, "If you hide your true interest, you will never find out who your true friends really are. Wouldn't you rather have a true friend, rather than a fake one who hangs out with you under false pretenses?" Kensuke looked up, and smiled. Artemis smiled back, patting his shoulder, "Think about it. Now head off to lunch, before your classmates eat it all!"

After the boy left, Artemis walked over to one of the open windows relaxing. He looked for all the world like a teacher simply observing the students that congregated on the grounds below while they enjoyed lunch. Then, in one fluid motion that no one noticed, he reached into his jacket, pulled out _Domovoi_, fired a single shot and returned it to the hidden holster in his jacket. No one heard the silenced shot of the modified Sig Saucer, nor did they notice the assassin on a rooftop two blocks away fall back onto the roof, a small bullet hole in his forehead.

It was the third bounty hunter he had killed that morning, and all others were quickly learning that killing him wasn't worth two hundred-million.

* * *

The next morning, the students were silent and alert when Artemis Fowl walked in. All of them had turned their assignments in on his desk. They did their traditional greeting, and then waited silently.

Artemis decided to let them wait, leafing through and scanning their essays. After a minute went by, he noticed some students starting to fidget, and paused on the essay he was looking at. "Mr. Suzuhara, this is a well thought out essay. I think you have a better talent for writing then what you wrote about. You might want to look into it."

"He wrote about basketball, didn't he?" someone asked.

"Yes he did, and he did very well," Artemis answered. "Mr. Ikari, Ms. Ayanami, I'd like to talk to the two of you about your essays before lunch. Now, Mr. Suzuhara, for the next hour, would you explain to us how basketball is played?"

Toji was surprised, but quickly got up to begin telling everyone about his favorite sport. When the hour was up, Artemis was about to restart his lecture when someone asked, "What about you, Sensei?"

"You don't want to know," Artemis answered. "You wouldn't believe me."

"Yes we do," several insisted.

Artemis sighed, leaning back, "Do any of you know anything about _The Fairy Thief_?"

Kensuke's hand shot up, "The sixteenth painting in Pascal Hervé's Fairy Folk series. Stolen from the previous owners several times over, it became one of the biggest trophies a criminal could obtain, and only by stealing it from the previous owner. The one who steals it is said to be the greatest thief in the world. It was last stolen in 2002, and to ensure that they couldn't loose their title, the ones who stole it donated it to the Louvre Museum in Paris along with a note that said, _More to follow_. Since then, it is believed that the same person has stolen six more lost works of art and donated them so that everyone could see them."

"How do you know all this?" Shinji asked in surprise.

"History Channel," Kensuke answered.

"Very good, Mr. Aida," Artemis smiled. "When I was a boy, my interests were strictly criminal. I wanted to make sure that I was the best thief in the world. I succeeded, by stealing _The Fairy Thief_ and donating it to the Louvre Museum, at the age of 14." Most of the class looked at him in shock. "Thankfully, since then, I have changed to criminal mastermind on the right side of the law, for the most part."

The class burst into laughter, and Artemis couldn't stop the phrase, _I told you so_, from running around in his brain. No one believed him. He paused, looking at their expressions. No one, except for maybe Rei Ayanami.

The lunch bell eventually rang, and Shinji and Rei stood in front of Artemis' desk. Artemis handed Shinji his paper, "I'm sorry, Shinji, but I cannot accept this essay until you talk to Major Katsuragi and ensure that revealing your status as a Pilot, as well as information about the Evangellion, is not classified. If it is, you will have to adjust your essay accordingly." Shinji nodded, feeling embarrassed that he didn't think of that. He took the paper and left the room for the cafeteria.

Artemis turned to Rei, "Why didn't you turn in an essay?"

She blinked in surprise, "I did."

"You turned in a fake," he scowled. "You chose a random topic, not something you are interested in. You should have realized from my story that I know how to spot a fake when I see it."

"Then, you did steal the painting?" Rei asked.

"I did," Artemis answered. "Since then, I have made sure that every criminal act I commit serves the rest of the world, much like a modern day Robbin Hood. As a result, the UN prefers not to bother about me. Now, why did you fake your essay?"

"I have no interests," Rei answered truthfully.

Artemis raised an eyebrow, "Excuse me? If I say you have an interest, you have an interest. All you have to do is find it." He handed her her paper. "I want you to think about this, with your heart and head. What interests you, Rei Ayanami?"

Rei nodded and left, feeling more confused than ever before. Artemis, meanwhile, opened up his cell phone and read the message that had been waiting for him.

**Artemis Fowl the Second is appointed by the UN to be their official liaison to the organization known as NERV to ensure the security and well being of the Pilots and Staff, including, but not limited to, ensuring that there is no War Profiteering, ensuring that there is no Abuse of Power, and ensuring that there is no abuse to the Pilots. Effective: Immediately.**

**-Office of the UN Secretary of Defense Martin Butler**

_Thank you, old friend,_ Artemis Fowl smiled.


End file.
